If there was ever a time to have the Breakup Blues it would be during the holiday season. If there is ever a time when you think of lost loves or long to be with someone special, the time is now-Christmastime. For kids it's fun time, for families its special time , for singles its torture time. But it doesn't have to be. Trust me I know. This time last year I was miserable, lonely, and sad. All I could do was think about my ex and how great things --the holidays--would be if we were still together. Well it's one year later and I made it! And you can, too!
- Know that this too shall pass. - Christmas is one day. Then of course there is New Year's. And if you are alone it can feel like forever. But grow up already because its not! Before you know it you will be back at work, back on the grind, back at tackling new challenges. So sit back, relax and try your best to enjoy the season, even if you are single. Heck! Especially if you are single. Because single hood--like the holidays--doesn't last forever. This time next year you could be engaged or married or seeing someone special or a straight up loser. Hey, you never know!
- Buy yourself something special. - You deserve it. Even if you can't afford to buy a whole bunch of gifts for friends and coworkers and family members, make sure you get something special for you. It could be a pair of slippers, a box of chocolates or a $12 ticket to the new Brad Pitt Movie. You have a broken heart on the holidays and you're still standing--doesn't that deserve a gift?
- Make plans. - This is not the time to "wing it" when it comes to holiday plans. Call your best friend or your co-worker or whoever and tell them that you will spend the holidays with them. Better yet, invite them over to your place! That way, even if you get in a funky, sad mood and are tempted to change your mind and stay at home and sulk, it will be too late! You're already committed. And we love commitments, because if we didn't we wouldn't be so sad about being single...right?
- Do something special for someone else. - There are opportunities to reach out to others during this holiday season.I know the commercials and the movies would like you to think that everyone is happy and in love and content this Christmas. Unfortunately there are people who are homeless and hungry everywhere. Consider volunteering at a shelter to serve Christmas Dinner. Drop off some old clothes or new toys to a shelter. Chances are you will see that you are not so bad off after all.
- Count your blessings. - This past year couldn't have been all bad. Maybe your love life sucks, but so what. Did you get a raise? A promotion? If not--well did you get a new pair of shoes? Seriously. There has to be something you are feeling blessed about. C'mon. I know you can think of something. Good. Then think of it and be grateful for it and focus on it. Still need help--umm, we have a new fine Black president in the White House.Still not enough? How about this--umm, you made it through 2008. And take it from me, who buried a friend Dominic and a cousin Rolean in 2008--not everybody does.
- Call everyone you know (except your ex). - Holidays are a great time to catch up with family and friends. Make a list of ten people you never get to catch up with, make some hot cider, and make some phone calls. You know you need to speak to your niece and goddaughter and long lost cousins anyway, so just do it.
- Eat. - I know pecan pie is not the best thing for a girl but I never eat it, except on Christmas. There has to be something you enjoy that is readily available this holiday season that you normally don't (because you shouldn't) indulge in like rich, creamy egg nog or a nice slice of succulent lamb. Go for it already. Enjoy it. Savor it. Until next year.
- Drink. - Christmas time is the time for spirits. Everywhere you go people will be drinking and you can, too. Enjoy. But in moderation. Too much and you will be worse off--sad, lonely and hungover. Ugh! That should be avoided at all costs. When I say drink know that I am not only referring to champagne and brandy and spiced cider. I'm also talking about water. Drink a lot of water. You need to do something to replenish all those tears you'll be shedding feeling sorry for yourself .
- Be merry. - I know this is easier said than done but its not so hard. If you don't feel like smiling at least nod at the lady in the subway who smiles at you. Somebody is having a party somewhere. Get invited to one. Or crash one. Put on a nice dress. Mingle a bit. Please don't stay home alone. But if you do, make your place merry. Even if you don't feel like buying or even decorating a tree, get a nice pine wreath (which will make you place smell great), some flowers, or a pretty pointesetta (which are at their prime this time of the year) and make your space feel special. If you don't, who will?