Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Promises Promises

Yes I know I promised pictures from my borther's wedding and here they are. Well, here are some of them.

Needless to say, it was a beautiful wedding and I had a ball. I mean, it's not everyday that your little brother gets married! And so I ate and drank and danced and laughed and took pictures and surprised myself at how happy I allowed myself to be. Yes. I must admit I was a little scared that I would get all weepy and sappy, that I would feel sorry for myself and do the whole woulda coulda shoulda thing. But no. I didn't lament over what went wrong in my last relationship, or wonder when my wedding day would come because in that moment none of that mattered. All that mattered was that my brother was happy and my family was beautiful. There was so much real genuine love all around me that even if there was a little melancholy in me, it could not survive in such an atmosphere. Thank God. Because I think of how I was just a few months ago, right around Valentine's Day to be exact--and it surprises me. Yes children. Back then, mama was a mess. My mind kept replaying conversations and situations; I couldn't stop thinking about him, me, we,us.

Finally,thankfully I did stop thinking about the past and was able to enjoy a beautiful priceless moment unencumbered by my own issues. But how did I do it? i"ll tell you. What I did at the wedding and everyday before and since--I stayed in the moment. I lived my life. I took care of myself. I stayed positive. I stayed busy. Then I looked up and I was okay. That's not to say that my ex never crosses my mind. Oh, he does (especially when it rains). But that's to be expected. Thing got much easier for me emotionally once I accepted the situation. And guess at the end of the day that's all one can do--accept the past and plan for the future.Oh, yeah! It's so on. NO looking back, right?

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